Monday, November 9, 2009

shattered dreams

This morning I stumbled across this message in my facebook inbox, well worth a read… my mate’s dreams of a mad 21st up in smoke:

Morgan Hives November 10 at 12:21am
At approximately 14:16pm on the 9th November 2009 as I was urinating in a railway toilet at Hurstville, my phone rang. My initial thought was that it would just be a distressed 18yr old female begging me to reconsider the current relationship mishap i was enduring, but what followed was far worse than that.

Upon answering my trusty Nokia 1209, I was shocked, appalled to an extent, to realise that the male voice on the other end of the wireless was in fact my worst nightmare. THE OWNER OF THE INLINE SKATING RINK!

To make things easy for you kind folk, I will now retell the conversation in-depth.

"Hello"
"Is this Morgan?"
"Yes"
"This is (Let's just call him Bob) Bob from the skating rink, how are you?"
"I'm currently urinating so im feeling quite relieved. How are you?"
"I'm very well. Mr Hives do you happen to use Facebook very often?"
"Yes, I am addicted to the internet"
"Just as I suspected. And did you by any chance happen to create an event page for the night in which you hired out my skating rink"
"Um.....Yes"
"Interesting. How many guests did you invite?"
"I dunno about 450. Why do you care? You can come dude I don't give a shit. Afterall it is your joint"
"That is not the issue young man. This issue is that I specifically told you no more than 150 people were allowed to attend and NO ALCOHOL"
"And....?"
"Can I make it anymore clearer Mr Hives. I'm cancelling your party"
"No you ain't"
"Yes I am"
"No you ain't I already payed you the money homeboy"
"The money is not an issue sir. The issue is that if someone gets injured out there whilst under the influence of alcohol, then I got a big court case on my hands"
"Ah shit"
"Yes Mr Hives. Shit indeed"
"So what now?"
"Well the party is cancelled and I will refund your money"
"Come on dude that is lame. Even you know how rad this party will be. I promise no one will drink"
"I can't take that risk mate. Plus I don't feel like having a Corey Worthington situation on my hands"
"I understand. I mean I'm not angry but you have pretty much just ruined the greatest party of all time"
"No I haven't. You have. By putting it on facebook and inviting so many people"
"Ah touche"
"Well Mr Hives I think that just about sums it up. You can come pick up the money when you're ready"
"Aaaaaahhhh sheet. Ok dude goodbye"
"Bye"

So as you can see. THE PARTY IS CANCELLED.

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