Laggers... all of em'

I am now going to attempt to write a critique of the bodyboarding industry's time management skills.

Time and time again you are promised magazines to arrive on shelves, products to be in stock, DVD’s to be released, podcasts to be available to download and even premiers to be in a certain month of the yr... But in some form of unspoken ritual, bodyboarding always has to have the lag factor.

Examples are as follows:

*Movement magazine will always have a lag time of approx 1-2 weeks before it’s available in newsagents

*The new range of Redback bodyboarding equipment as advertised in Riptide magazine was not available at my local bodyboarding store

*The "Mitch DVD" was released a whole year late…. which Mitch Rawlins actually spoke about in his riveting introductory interview on the DVD as some form of comedic piece, and then had the hide to ask at the end of the interview "did that sound gay?" (To which I replied back to my TV screen, yes)

*The Dave-Winny-mini-series podcasts were due in October, the first episode was realeased mid November.

And finally the CRAZY premier was promised for December.... and now in an exclusive press release I break the news that it will be in January.

I am afraid that I, a punctual man the prides himself for not lagging has fallen into the trap of making broken promises. For this I deliver my sincerest apologies.

muscle

ok lets talk professions, if you're a bouncer there a 99% chance you're a cunt. I thought I'd share a convertsation a friend of mine had with a bouncer early on in the night of some post uni exam celebrations, enjoy.

Bouncer: how many beers you had
Perry: yeh fooor
Bouncer: sorry, how many?
Perry: yeh 6 pack
bouncer: you just said 4.... no chance
Perry: yeh 4 out of the 6pack i bought

perry walks away sheepishly to the next club

crazy pranks

The photo above is me getting a blow torch wake-up.

Back in the day tension pranks were emulated by most young bodyboarders and there really is no better thing than a well executed wake-up.

This one involved my friend lighting a deodorant can as it was pointed in the direction of my hair and me waking up mid-prank and coping the flames in the face. Crazy! and crazy thing is that the only injury I received was a set of slightly singed eyebrows

euro uno

Amaury 'i dont really know how to spell your last name but ill get it a try" Lavernhe

this guy is the real deal, i love his surfing and it seems hes minus the foul euro vibe, hes the man. Here is proof

FOCUSprod_HS_Amaury Lavernhe from focusbodyboard on Vimeo.

Mest up

By some form of miricle one of my favorite pop-punk bands from when i was in high school have decided they want to play at Wollongong Uni Bar. It on tonight. Mest.... So crazy.

Nothing

im willing to back anyone that wants to partake in the cruel yet rewarding world that is making a bodyboarding dvd, and im backing this guy, plus hes having a premier in my home town, plus it looks the goods.

5th of December Illawarra Leagues. Get involved, Get crazy.

Premier BABY

Ive been deep in thought about CRAZY as of late (See pic below)




looks like she will be on late DEC in Wollongong, venue TBA

Edca Medca

Eric Medcalf, part time shredder, part time power spewer.

shattered dreams

This morning I stumbled across this message in my facebook inbox, well worth a read… my mate’s dreams of a mad 21st up in smoke:

Morgan Hives November 10 at 12:21am
At approximately 14:16pm on the 9th November 2009 as I was urinating in a railway toilet at Hurstville, my phone rang. My initial thought was that it would just be a distressed 18yr old female begging me to reconsider the current relationship mishap i was enduring, but what followed was far worse than that.

Upon answering my trusty Nokia 1209, I was shocked, appalled to an extent, to realise that the male voice on the other end of the wireless was in fact my worst nightmare. THE OWNER OF THE INLINE SKATING RINK!

To make things easy for you kind folk, I will now retell the conversation in-depth.

"Hello"
"Is this Morgan?"
"Yes"
"This is (Let's just call him Bob) Bob from the skating rink, how are you?"
"I'm currently urinating so im feeling quite relieved. How are you?"
"I'm very well. Mr Hives do you happen to use Facebook very often?"
"Yes, I am addicted to the internet"
"Just as I suspected. And did you by any chance happen to create an event page for the night in which you hired out my skating rink"
"Um.....Yes"
"Interesting. How many guests did you invite?"
"I dunno about 450. Why do you care? You can come dude I don't give a shit. Afterall it is your joint"
"That is not the issue young man. This issue is that I specifically told you no more than 150 people were allowed to attend and NO ALCOHOL"
"And....?"
"Can I make it anymore clearer Mr Hives. I'm cancelling your party"
"No you ain't"
"Yes I am"
"No you ain't I already payed you the money homeboy"
"The money is not an issue sir. The issue is that if someone gets injured out there whilst under the influence of alcohol, then I got a big court case on my hands"
"Ah shit"
"Yes Mr Hives. Shit indeed"
"So what now?"
"Well the party is cancelled and I will refund your money"
"Come on dude that is lame. Even you know how rad this party will be. I promise no one will drink"
"I can't take that risk mate. Plus I don't feel like having a Corey Worthington situation on my hands"
"I understand. I mean I'm not angry but you have pretty much just ruined the greatest party of all time"
"No I haven't. You have. By putting it on facebook and inviting so many people"
"Ah touche"
"Well Mr Hives I think that just about sums it up. You can come pick up the money when you're ready"
"Aaaaaahhhh sheet. Ok dude goodbye"
"Bye"

So as you can see. THE PARTY IS CANCELLED.

its the pipeline

as tyou are watching this clip listen closely to the song.... if only i could some how find it on limewire, and its also got some crazy wipeouts and mike stewert owning.

Mike Stewart passeia por dentro de Pipe from Ricosurf on Vimeo.

times a ticking

Phone conversation with James Kates 10.30pm thurs night.

"so are we on for editing tommmorow? ill just train it up to you place then head to work in the arvo"

James: "shit man im real busy got so much shit to do"

"i thought you said fri was good for you, what have you got on?"

James: "eeeeeeeeeeiiiigh, just like shit, like dads bday, and gotta see some lady about a wedding dvd, sorry man i wouldnt just be a cunt for no reason"

"um nah you prob would be, hahaha"

James: "eeeeeeeeeeigh ill ring you tommorow morning"


miday the next day still no call.....



katsey busy at glasshouse, circa 2007

more busy moments from the novel "the busy life of a HB pro bodyboarder" coming soon

a new VS project.... Crazy vs the-roast

the-roast.blogspot.com is defiantly a site that should be frequently occurring in your web browser history. If its not then there is a fair chance that you always delete your history incase mum or dad sees that you have been on lubetube.com gratifying yourself. I recently took part in a breakthrough email interview with one half of the roast, Mike.

Like Ewan said in his video resume, “Check, Check, Check it Out!”

press release...

Sportsperson of the Week
3/11/2004 12:07:30 PM
AFTER 10 years of trying, Forster local Troy Kneeves took out the much-revered open division of the Jeff Wilcox Memorial Classic bodyboard competition held in windy three to four foot swell at Boomerang Beach on the weekend of October 9 and 10.
For such dedication to his sport, and a strong performance Troy has been selected as the Advocate's Sportsperson of the Week Award winner.